Bangkok, Thailand
Introduction
Maybe I should start this section with a short personal story. Traveling through Thailand in 2002 with a gay male friend, we found ourselves in Bangkok one Saturday night. We decided to hit the gay village for drinks and we went to probably the gayest bar I’ve seen in my life, with lots of old ex-pat men chatting up young Thai boys, and drag queens galore. We decided to ask our waiter, who was decked out in a gold lame bikini top, waist length wig and more make-up than a MAC cosmetics store, if there were any places for lesbians in town. His response, after checking to make sure he’d really understood what we’d asked, was “yuck, two girls is gross.”
Fast-forward to today. If a lesbian travels to Bangkok she can now find two full-time dyke bars (hey, that’s more than you’ll find in Montreal!) and Thai lesbians are truly starting to form their own community. The bars in town are the brand new Nine Bar (opened May, 2008) and Zeta. There used to be another spot called Shela, but unfortunately it has closed now (see our bar listings for more details).
The butch-femme dynamic is extremely present in Thailand, in fact it’s almost mandatory (but here it’s called “toms” (for tom-boy) and “dees” (for ladies). You’ll actually see toms regularly around town, fitting in easily, the same way M2F transsexuals, or very effeminate gay men or transvestites (often referred to as “kathoys”) are generally accepted in Thai society. Western lesbians who don’t really fit into the “tom/dee” reality may find this, almost as much as language, a barrier to communicating with local lesbians.
Bangkok has tons of gay clubs for men, and the main gay village is found on Silom Road between Soi (Thai for side street or lane) 2 and Soi 4. You’ll find lots of tourists and ex-pats there, along with the Thais who’d like to meet them. If you go to any of the lesbian bars in Bangkok, expect to be one of the only foreigners in the place. The locals are usually very friendly though, so don’t feel shy.
Check out a nightclub named 'Zeta'. It is located in RCA, Bangkok. You might think you have walked into a straight club when you see so many beautiful Thai women dressed in ultra feminine attire. Certainly a 'WOW' factor in my opinion. If you are planning to spend a long time in Thailand then you will have to decide if you are going to be a 'tom' or 'dee'. I opted to become a 'tom'. It was easy for me though as my long hair was far too hot to bare in Thailand temperature's and my personality had always been tom anyway. Good luck!
Charlie on Mar 22, 2008
I would recommend a visit to Shela, the lesbian bar. The bar is very untouristy and it's a great place to see Thai lesbian life.
Rachael on Feb 06, 2008
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